So after many requests to blog about the past two weeks of my life, here it is. I'll warn my readers, get a bucket b/c this may be the choppiest piece of writing you've ever read. I write like i talk which if you know me is all over the place. this will also be just a series of blogs that will come from this journey and hopefully this journey will open the door to more...but more of that later.
So i went to China, and i went under the presumption that we would be meeting Christian (cool) college students and just getting to know them...well i got real uncomfortable real fast. as soon as we got off the plane we were greeted with no luggage...yay! and then we met everyone and had a debrief of what exactly we were doing. well, pretty much we were to go out...meet students from the campus and get to know them...hoping to share the Gospel with them. Totally caught off guard, maybe b/c we had been travelling for so long but still caught off guard for what I was meant to do. after much prayer and discussing we decided to just go for it, and i was told before i left to do everything for God and leave nothing in me when i leave China. I met some students who felt so empty and hopeless and had a pointless life...and me and my wonderful partner were able to share the love of God with them and to say that we have been there...i've known hopelessness and this was what gave me meaning in my life.
sidenote: this was also a thing of God for me to speak about my faith to non-believers, I re-fell in love with God and my purpose in life.
the girls that we did share with were reluctant, they didn't think they could become a Christian b/c it was to hard and it would take to long for them to change. They felt this way b/c of the way they were raised, to not believe in anything but themselves. This led me to my 1st realization that living for oneself is garbage...YOU WILL ALWAYS CHANGE...living to figure out who you are, living for finding out who you truly are is garbage to what you could be doing in God!!! I always thought that you need to find out who YOU are, and what YOU want out of life and i just realized that I'M to self-centered and I'M always going to change from day to day...so live FOR God, THROUGH God, WITH God, and SHARE God with all people and let them see who YOU truly are!
I've also been amazed at how I don't live for God enough, and how i focus on myself way to much...and then i've also been judging people for that characteristic but i've stopped that since i've been back. i think i realized this one b/c these girls that i shared with had no idea who God was...and then we told them and there eyes were wide and they were SO thirsty for something to make them feel free and not trapped...and they didn't want this option. what?!?!?!?! but that was me in college, i wanted happiness so i turned to alcohol and boys...instead of the only true happiness.
i told you that this was going to be a rollar coaster ride.
hope you could follow along.
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