ah...de-funked.

So i finally talked to my best friend from college...quite possibly for the first time in two months. I know, how do we remain best friends when we don't talk at all? we leave detailed messages on each others machines..hahaha. no for real, we share the same goals and dreams (not literally) but the same kind of goals. she finally brought me out of my funk. just hearing that voice made me feel so much better. i finally realized that even the people that i miss don't know me anymore. 

i'm not the same me as i was. my focus is no longer what it was in college or even in high school. i truly rather would be going bowling, driving around and getting lost or at church then at the bar, drinking and watching more t.v. then i'll ever need. i value everything that has happened to be in the past year so much, i find the people in my life to bring me more joy then i've ever felt. i think i was in a funk b/c i thought to much about the past. i was hanging out with some people that reminded me of it all and i wanted it back so much. Screw everything, let me just do what i want and have fun!!!  And, then i heard that voice, and remembered everything...and realized....no doing what i want won't feel better....it'll feel worse. This post probably makes no sense to anyone but to me it completely does!

I feel closer to God also, through this all he's opened my eyes. I feel like he let me hang out with this people to pinch me and say that was you: if you had continued you'd end up like them! thank God for Him!!!! Lately i've been more vulnerable, praying more, valuing my time and what i say more, and valuing my friends a whole lot more! Sometimes you need to miss the old you to realize what you've got right in front of you. 

This is about my favorite song....Beautiful and turn your eyes upon Jesus by Phil Wickham. I think this song just says everything i think and feel about my relationship with God and my friendship with everyone that i am close to in my life. There all beautiful.  you should listen to the song considering my blog will not let me download anything right now which i'm bitter about but you should REALLY REALLY REALLY listen to that song!!!!!!!